AFC Wimbledon 2 Dorchester Town 0 – A Match Response

A match response indeed. I could never pass this off as a match report, as unlike Tuesday I was nowhere near any media source that worked long enough to keep up with the game. My mobile isn’t really compatible with WDON, and the Blue Square score updates seemed to go down after about 20 minutes. I spent the second half of the game wandering around Lullworth Cove, a spectacular and beautiful work of natural wonder that could only be improved, in my humble opinion, by a whacking great mobile phone mast on the cliffs. Yes I was stuck on a family day out on the day of a Saturday home game, so not only was I missing the match, I had to spend the whole day pretending I didnt care I was missing the match. Annoyingly I still haven’t got over the virus that kept me away from St Albans, in fact it seems to have got worse. My throat is swollen up, I feel like a bearded Jabba The Hut, and I’m fairly sure I may have the plague.

My view at approximately the time Danny Kedwell scored our second goal, excelently predicted by The Anonymous Don

My view at about the time Danny Kedwell scored our second goal, excellently predicted by The Anonymous Don last Friday

I finally found out the result at about 5.30, while listening to Wave FM on the way home. There was also a fairly interesting match report from Eastleigh where the ‘reporter’ (they probably grabbed the first passing Eastleigh fan armed with mobile and working voicebox) signed off by reminding the ‘big one’ with Wimbledon (NOTE: no AFC) was just two weeks away. Nice to see they’re looking forward to it. Eastleigh Man then cut back to the studio where the Main Presenter Guy read the other local results, making sure he emphasised that it was AFC Wimbledon that beat Dorchester today, as if he wanted to make sure the listeners didn’t get us confused with the plain old Wimbledon that Eastleigh Man just mentioned.

At around Sunbury Cross my phone started working again and I found out the glorious news that Trumpton FC had taken a pasting at Welling. A moment to celebrate not just for me but also for my wife. An occasional visitor to Dons games its fair to say Mrs Anonymous doesn’t exactly have blue and yellow blood flowing through her veins. Football (or Soccer as she insists on calling it, to my occasional embarrasment) is the only game she really took an interest in at High School, playing for several years and not making as many appearances for the school team mainly due to her complete bafflement over the offside rule. Now I dont want to use the word ‘disapointment’ in a sentence that also contains the phrase ‘my wife’, but its such a massive cliche (ie, woman doesn’t understand the offside rule) that just by writing it makes me feel like this match response could easily spiral out of control into some kind of Fever Pitch sequel. I just want to grab her, shake her and shout ‘Your setting the womens equality movement back decades with your inability to grasp such a simple concept!’. Her, lets call it a condition, causes her to ponder loudly whether the referee has called for ‘offsides’ whenever he blows his whistle and she doesn’t understand why,a habit that made me extremely proud of her during the Bishop Storftford home game as Jake Leberl trudged off the pitch, her loud enquiry of ‘What was that for? Offside?’ was fortunately viewed as a moment of high sarcasm by our fellow Tempest Enders.

But the reason I mentioned Mrs Anonymous is because despite her desire to see our lovely Dons fly up the leagues being more down to her devotion to me than the team, she has built up a healthy hatred of Trumpton along with it. This is due to her admiration for a 6 foot furry hunk o’lovin’ known as Haydon the Womble. She didn’t attend the Trumpton home game, so I had to relay the story of vicious Trumpton midfielder Robbie Kembers appaling assault on her fictional friend including PUNCHING HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF followed by KICKING HIM REPEATEDLY whilst on the floor, finishing by SPITTING ON HIM contemptedly as he lay bleeding on the floor (NOTE: I may have exaggerated events, but only to communicate their savageness to my spouse). The net result being she now hates Trumpton with a frenzy. We cruised through the village holding four fingers up to various confused passers by, most of whom probably don’t even realise their town has a football club.

Besides a win for ourselves, psychologicaly Saturday could have won us the title. Even if we slip up at Eastleigh and Trumpton, the Trumptonites will still have to find four more points than us in the remaining games. Later in the week (if I remember) I’ll give my thoughts on these remaining fixtures, and reveal how, and by who, the title will be won. Just so I can read back at the end of season and cringe at my woeful predictions.

But back to Dorchester. Its at this point I would like to massively big up the people responsible for uploading the footage to AFC Wimbledon TV ( mere hours after the game finished. The phrase ‘hero’ gets overused a lot these days, though it goes without saying having missed the match I’d like to give everyone involved in producing AFC Wimbledon TV a medal, or if they prefer, a cash sum of equal or lesser value. I can only imagine what it must be like for those hardcore fans across the globe, sometimes waiting weeks for goal videos, or having to rely on shaky phone cam shots. In the future I may well be one myself, I have just narrowly avoided having to permanently relocate to Concord, NH (although ‘narrowly avoided’ makes it sound like punishment. Its a nice town…). As my wifes home town it may become a place I call home some day, but I’m still fortunate to watch the adventure unfold from near enough the clubs doorstep. Its good to know whatever happens I will be well looked after, and its all thanks to people like these… whatever would non attending match previewers do without them?

The match… Ill just presume that anyone reading this will have either been at the game or watched the link above (Youtube, eh? The lazy bloggers friend…), and just add – Main and Kedwell. Main. And Kedwell. If ever a pair of players deserved having their own blue and yellow pair of Nike boots made for them it’s these two, and needless to say should I win any of the Lottery/Dons Draw/ Unlikely looking 5p stake 15 match accumulater then I will be first in line to snap up a pair at the end of season auction.

And the less said about Chris Husseys penalty the better. I obviously jinxed him with my Friday prediction. Lets not be too hard on the lad, eh?

LATE AMENDMENT – Also huge thanks to the guys at WUP for adding me to their blogroll. When I finally sort out my links it will be reciprocated, and keep an eye out as I’ll be contributing some of my more choice material EXCLUSIVELY to the WUP blog. Once I actually start producing choice material that is…

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