The General Specific (Sunday 10th May ’09)

So blog news first, and The Conference Files are up and running. I have to admit I’m finding it all very interesting, reading up on teams that, with all due respect, I don’t know a lot about. There’s been a lot spoken of the grounds we will be visiting this season, and its mainly revolved around your Oxfords and your Luton’s, but if its character you’re after I think we’re going to be in for a real treat this year.

So long as I don’t bust our relationships with other teams by repeating the Altrincham incident (Oh, the shame!), I think I’ll be spending most of the summer lurking on 23 club message boards. I don’t like the look of that ‘conferenceforum.co.uk’, there’s a touch of the Rymans about that. On forums and message boards you tend to get the loony minority watered down by the sensible majority which better represents a clubs fan base, where as forums like that just seem to suck the Martin Drakes of this world into public shit stirring and mud flinging sessions. I feel a bit mean saying that about our own Classless Bandwagonner, I’ve never knowingly met him, and by all accounts he’s a really nice bloke in the real world. But, come on. I mean, you know, just come on…

The whole Conference Files thing is meant to be a fluidly evolving section, probably not best suited to a blog environment, but oh well… the Alty and Barrow posts will be updated as the pre-season goes, all ready for reading before the season starts.

Elsewhere it appears, shockingly, our Player of the Year Ben Judge has GIVEN AWAY HIS CHAMPIONSHIP MEDAL! No, it wasn’t to a jiggley chested bimbo down at the Peel as I predicted; it was back to the club, where it was auctioned at the End of Season Dinner for a pretty packet. The fact is winning the title with us means more than any cheap medal ever could to the likes of Ben Judge; he doesn’t need it, as his memory of last season is never likely to fade. Either that or he’s just been told he’s leaving this summer! No, that’s unlikely I know, and its news like this that makes me consider kicking the wife into touch and stalking both Judgey and Keds simultaneously (I hope they live quite close to each other…).

On the transfer front, we have been told in the clubs snappily titled ‘What’s Happening At Kingsmeadow’ feature that ‘a defender has been offered terms’ and ‘we are about to make an offer for a midfielder’. Now the first one surely, has to be our old friend ‘Quiche’ Lorraine, and the second one could be one of about a dozen players. Matt Patterson seems everyone’s favourite right now to make the short journey over from Woking at the moment, but lets wait and see.

As for other rumours – get this – Nikki Bull of Aldershot has been linked! I think its safe to say my long-standing fondness for Jamie Pullen (in a purely hetro way of course…) may be tested if that one comes off. But does Bull really want to drop out of The League (and full time football)? Those Matt Langston rumours don’t seem to be going away either (and we need someone who knows how to score against Leeds… remember the trouble we had back in ’75?!) although I was under the impression he had signed a new contract at Histon.

So who’s going to leave? Who knows! Recent goalkeeper speculation suggests Jamie Pullen could be the surprise bye-bye of the summer, although he has shown his willingness to fight for his place, and may be willing to stay until Christmas (and Andy Littles recovery) to fight for his place. One departure that needs to be sorted is those damn foxes digging up our pitch! I have to say my own personal hatred of fox hunting only really refers to toffs on horseback; it’s ok if you catch ’em with your own bare hands. Due to my proximity to The Meadow its not unlikely they could be one and the same as the bastards that keep me awake at night with their constant shagging… in which case I’m prepared to make an open offer to the club that’ll I’ll be prepared to camp out overnight and ‘deal’ with them…

I won’t go any further today as I may end up finding myself on a PETA hit list… until later in the week, have fun speculating! 

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