NEW SIGNING – Derek Duncan Joins

Stewart Cash today finalised the signing of Derek Duncan, 22, who was released by Ebbsfleet at the end of last season. Derek is primarily an attacking midfielder operating down the left, but can play at left back, and after a quick web search he is also Professor of Italian Cultural Studies at the University of Bristol, so truly multi-talented (don’t write in – I know its a different Derek Duncan…). Cash has worked with the player before, as he had a spell on loan at Lewes when Stuart was there, so it seems apt Terry’s holiday meant he was the one to conclude negotiations.

derek duncanIn my strange brain there’s a thought bouncing around that maybe Stuart was told to sign a different player, but when he took the reigns temporarily for the week the power went to his head… and in the manner of a cheesy sitcom the whole thing will pan out with hilarious consequence when Terry returns. In years to come we could see the incident turned into a modern day pantomime along the lines of Jack And The Beanstalk, as Duncan fires us into the Football League…

Of course those of you having heart attacks over the average age of the squad won’t have been assured by another youngster coming in. At this rate the likes of Luke Garrard will be the old timer of the squad next year. As I have said before if you are good enough, you are old enough… or more accurately if your young enough, it doesn’t matter if your not quite good enough yet. I’m looking forward to this adventurous, youthful side coming together over the next few months, so for those of you thinking we are going to need experience to get out of this division – I say if no-one tells the player that we should be ok!

Seriously, we aren’t going to have relegation problems next year, and that’s all we should worry about this term. None of us – perhaps least of all Terry – know how good this side can be next year, but we know they are talented individuals, and with luck some of them will form the nucleus of the side that will play for us in the Football League one day.

In fact the only problem I have with the signing is we have acquired far too many players whose names are both first names – so Terry! Get out there and sign a couple of guys whose first names are Lloyd or Donovan or something…

PS… All the ladies out there (and some of the men out there) if your into this sort of thing, here’s a cheeky view of our new boy


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